True stories by Murl Harpham








































I stated earlier that practical jokes were a part of life and everyone enjoyed them, even usually the victim because he knew he would get his revenge eventually.  Not now, you could get fired for harassment or creating a hostile work environment.

 The woman who use to pull these gags has been dead for forty years so I can tell this story.

 She was a police matron.  There were no female officers in those days, just matrons.  Their job was to search any female person arrested.  When they were not doing that they worked as office clerks. 

 A favorite of hers was to target a new officer.  She always had a partner in crime, a senior officer who was training the new officer.

 She would dress in old rags, disguise herself and douse herself with whiskey.  She would go to a pre-determined place and lay down and act drunk.

 The new officer and his partner would respond to a woman down call.  Now Selma, who was in her sixties would be arrested and taken to our drunk tank where she had secreted a key to the cell.

 While rookie officer was doing  the paper work Selma would come staggering out of the cell asking where she was or some other dumb question.  The accomplice officer would chastise the rookie for not locking the cell door.  He would place her back in the cell and double check the lock and return to his paper work.

 She would retrieve the key unlock the door, hide the key again and stagger down the hall again.  Each time the rookie would be chastised by the accomplice or the Sergeant.  After about three trips out of her cell the rookie would  smell a rat.  Everyone would have a good laugh at the rookies expense.

Murl Harpham